While single, we must learn about overcoming bad relationships because invariably, we will encounter them. But, we can grow in overcoming bad relationships to experience the healthy relationships that God wants for us.
Romans 7:15, 18-20
15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.
18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
The Bus Ride: The Opportunity for Bad Relationships
So, you finally take that walk down the aisle, no not to get married but to give your life to the Lord. You listen to all the information, and you can do it. Starting your walk with the Lord is great. You learn to lean on the Lord in some areas. But, you still try to do it yourself in others, like your relationships. You notice that there are few eligible singles in the church so you branch out hoping to bring someone back into the church.
You have a relationship bus that contains all your relationships and the things that make you happy. That sassy smile and your roll of the eyes when you spot someone you want to “get with” remain prominent. You see to your physical appearance as you spend lots of time keeping in shape and looking good. All the people that feed your ego and make you feel special gather around.
You sit at the back of the bus where you can see everything happening on the bus. You look out the windows and watch the world go by as you enjoy your bus ride. Wait, you see someone you want on your bus. You don’t even stop the bus. You just jump off and chase him down.
Once you have him you realize he is not what you really wanted. So, you chase your bus down begging the Lord to stop and pick you up.
Rinse and Repeat: Continually Encountering Bad Relationships
You get on the bus breathless, a little worse for wear. You say, “Thank you, Lord! I don’t know what I was thinking. That was a mess. We are not going to do that again.” So, you roll on with the Lord again. You return to your seat in the back so you can overlook the situation. Again, you jump off the bus because you saw “the one.” After you realize that was not the right one, you chase the bus down. You beg the Lord to stop and let you back on. He does, and you apologize again and go to the back.
This happens time and again. Each time you get a little more torn and ragged and heartbroken. You start talking to the driver and tell Him about your relationships and how bad they have been. You move from the back of the bus to the middle of the bus. You can get rid of some things that were messing you up. So, now you don’t see what is behind you. You just focus on what is in front of you. Fewer people are on the bus, and your smile isn’t as sassy as it used to be. Your physical appearance is not the best, and you notice some dark spots. Yet, you continue with your ride.
Down the Long Road: Enduring Bad Relationships
You look out the window and see people you think you want, but now you let a few go by. You don’t jump on everything that says “Hi, Sexy” to you. You watch and wait. You still jump but just not as often. When you get back on the bus, you thank the Lord again and promise that was the last time. You will wait on the Lord for “the one” for you. You sit closer to the front and start talking to the driver. You tell him all about your fears of being single and dying alone, and how this Christian thing is hard and not like what you thought. You don’t drink and smoke as much. And, you wait to be intimate with someone until you are sure they will be around and marry you. Yet, you still don’t know why you are single.
Delighting in the Driver: Overcoming Bad Relationships
The driver tells you to sit in the seat next to Him, and you do. You are so tired. You lay your head on His shoulder and cry. All the pain you have put yourself through trying to find “the one for you” has taken its toll. He starts quoting scripture:
Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart (Psalm 37:4).
Today is a day of days. You can cast your burdens on the Lord, be of good cheer, and lean not unto thy own understanding but lean on the Lord. Today, may you receive what your heart desires for your life. May you strengthen your walk with the Lord.
This is an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian singles. Instead of looking for “hook-up” relationships, you can incorporate some Yah-sayers. These are the fellow Christians that will encourage you to do the right thing and pray with you instead of nay-sayers that will encourage you to indulge in the flesh. Open your hearts and minds and receive what the Lord has for you. Wait on the Lord.